Trump's First State of the Union Coincides With The Apocalypse. Awkward.

Political pundits are predicting that we'll hear lots of talk about unity and the economy at President Trump's first State of the Union tonight. Meanwhile, biblical pundits are predicting that the annual address will get crashed by the four horsemen of the apocalypse. That's because the event just so happens to coincide with a portent of Armageddon.

The portent in question is a Super Blue Blood Moon, which will begin in the early hours of January 31 — mere hours after Trump's State of the Union wraps. The Super Blue Blood Moon involves three astronomical phenomena happening at once:

  • A Blue Moon, where there are two full moons in one month,
  • A Supermoon, where the moon travels so close to the earth that it looks 33 percent larger than normal,
  • And a lunar eclipse, meaning the earth's shadow will fall over the moon and make it look blood red.

That trifecta of cosmic events hasn't happened for 152 years. And it will never, ever, ever happen again if Doomsday prognosticators are right. These apocalyptic prophets say the Super Blue Blood Moon is actually the opening of the Sixth Seal from the Revelation 6:12-13, which says, "And I beheld when he had opened the sixth seal, and lo, there was a great earthquake, and the sun became black as sackcloth...and the moon became as blood; and the stars of heaven fell unto the earth, even as a fig tree casteth her untimely figs, when she is shaken of a mighty wind."

If that sounds familiar, you're either a huge fan of the bible or 'Ghostbusters.'

Doomsday prophets say that earthquake is the one that rocked the Pacific last week, and the eclipse is the one from last August (the one Trump stared at directly). So the events are a bit out of order, but that might just be what happens when the cosmos is getting shaken like a fig tree in a hurricane. We're not sure what the fallen stars are yet, but we assume there's a cult somewhere that interprets that passage as the celebrity firings that have happened in the wake of the #MeToo movement.

So if all that's true, and earth will be obliterated shortly after the State of the Union, then we can't wait to hear how Sean Hannity will spin the apocalypse into a big win for Trump.


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