This Theme Park Will Let You Punch A Fake Assailant To Impress Your Date

Don’t have the looks or personality to woo a would-be love interest?

Have no fear (if you can cough up the cash for airfare, that is): a theme park in Osaka, Japan is offering visitors the chance to hire a fake assailant that they can pretend to beat up to impress their date.

Yes, really.

Here’s how it works: after signing up for Hirakata Park’s ‘fight package’, you’ll first attend a combat class of sorts that teaches you how to believably throw a punch. Then, while strolling the park premises with your desired sweetheart, you’ll be confronted by a ‘bad guy’ who will hurl insults your way and try to pick a fight. This will be your opportunity to defend your date’s honor in a fake altercation.

And just like that, she’ll be weak in the knees – because all any woman needs to fall head over heels is a brazen spectacle of (faux) masculinity, apparently.

Those who believe less in (staged) violence and more in (staged) bravado can opt for a variety of other packages, including one that lets you defuse a fake bomb, one in which you swap bodies with a stranger (we aren’t sure, either) and one where a stranger needs an emergency blood transfusion and you’re the only one who can help.

Of course, you could avoid all of this by just not being an asshole. But to each their own, we suppose. 



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