Halloween is upon us. This of course means will be spending the day eating candy, watching horror movies, and, of course, dressing up in this year's suite of inappropriately-themed sexy costumes.

In the rush to pull in some of that sweet seasonal cash, companies will apparently try to make anything sexy enough that you’ll shell out $50 to wear it for one night—even weed. Let’s take a quick look at some of the dumbest, "sexy" marijuana-based costumes you can buy online right now.

Sexy Medical Marijuana Nurse

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This short-skirted outfit is certainly not hospital regulation. Also, while we appreciate the effort to bring medical cannabis into the limelight, we have to say that, in execution, it’s not particularly eye-catching. The only thing differentiating this from every other "sexy nurse" costume out there is the green color template. 

Also, maaaybe not the most effective way to advance the legitimization of medical cannabis.

Sexy Edibles Baker

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This one’s pretty clear, on a conceptual level. She’s an attractive person who likes to cook weed brownies. Considering the inconsistent smoking laws in the US, and the fact Canada has yet to legalize the sale of edible products, most of us could use one of these fine people in our lives. No problems there.

For us, the primary concern here is the name. 'Brownie The Baker'? Seriously?  Her name is Brownie? We understand not wanting to have to explain your costume, but that’s a little on-the-nose, even by Halloween standards.

Sexy Scout
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Continuing on the edibles tangent, this unsavory number seems to be playing on the concept of Girl Scout Cookies. This is an idea that, frankly, makes us a little uncomfortable, considering children are so much at the center of the moral outrage when it comes to marijuana legalization. Throw in some sex, and you’ve got yourself a pretty bad mix. No merit badges for this one.

Sexy Marijuana…Bee?
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This one is a bit of a thinker. What, exactly, is a marijuana bee? This is a creature we’ve never once come across in our own studies of history, zoology or literature. Are we to understand that the marijuana bee takes to THC like a regular bee does to pollen? We honestly don’t know.

Sexy Marijuana-Loving Riddler
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We don’t know for sure that is what they are going for with this one, but damned if that isn’t what this looks like. Look, we’re not saying that the Batman villain isn’t scary and/or sexy, but its connection with cannabis has us a little confused.

Wait a minute…what if that’s the point? Damn you, Riddler—fooled us again!

Sexy Superhero (Also, Weed)


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Thank goodness we have a weed superhero here to protect us from the dastardly antics of such villains. This costume, with its headband and low-cut shirt, appear to be something of a riff on the recent success of Wonder Woman. So, it might not win any points for originality, but we’re willing to bet a feature film based on the character is already in development at Warner Bros.

Honorable Mention:

Pill HeadScreen Shot 2018 10 29 at 3.51.50 PMWe’d be remiss not to mention this abomination of bad taste. This pill-bottle shaped outfit comes replete with gratuitous numerical plays on 420, 666 and, naturally, 69.

Its allusions to it being a 'chill pill,' prescribed by a 'Dr. M. Kush,' strongly implies that it’s a bottle of cannabis pills, but its description, which reads "Dolls Kill Pill Head Costume cuz ya the perfect chill pill bb. Have ‘em take a dose in this sexxy AF mini dress," doesn’t exactly clarify things. So, we’re just going to go ahead and blame this one on Big Pharma.