BREAKING: it's a straight woman's world on Tinder.
62% of location-based dating app users are men, and they are three times more likely than women to swipe right (for the uninitiated: that's code for saying you like someone.) With such cutthroat competition for the attention of the two-x-chromosome population - and this goes for other sites such as OKC and POF as well - you've gotta bring your A-game.
Here's how even the savviest guys are unwittingly turning women off.
"I hate Tinder/I don't know how to describe myself." Yeah, dating apps are weird. It's weird for us, too: move on. If you hate it so much, why'd you join? Phrases like this - or worse yet, an empty bio - means your inbox is also likely to stay empty. Hot tip: if you're 6" or taller, have a favourite book, or are based out of some sexy location like Berlin/Manhattan/Paris, tell us that. If you're a short, illiterate Nebraskan, stick with your ability to whip up a killer risotto.
"I love music." Yawn. While you might be legitimately passionate about music (or nature, or food, for that matter) so are 90% of other humans. Next.
Confusing pic. A profile pic featuring 4+ people is almost always an instant swipe left: I can't tell which one you are. Also avoid: photos of your car unless you're in it; with an animal you've just killed; or an ex obviously cropped out. Clear photos of you cracking a smile win. Maybe one of you in a suit, or with a pet (doesn't even have to be your pet.)
"No drama: had enough of that with my ex." Nothing kills the mood like a diatribe thinly veiled as a bio. Ditto for listing what you hate in women and what you will/won't accept. Complaints about "drama," "no bitches need apply" or, come to think of it, the word "bitches," "apply" or "application" in almost any context, make you an automatic nope.
"Hey!/Hi./Sup." One-word openers flip the pressure on to the other person, announcing "I have nothing to contribute to this conversation: entertain me!" The dreaded "any plans for the weekend?" looks better on first glance, but it's still mind-numbing to answer. Even worse? Endless messages simply repeating "hey" or "hi," hours and weeks apart, like dispatches from a soul damned to hell.
"I hate typing on my phone/my phone screen is cracked/I can't see the rest of your pics, can I add you to Facebook?" Trying to trick us into friending on Facebook is a great indicator that we should not be Facebook friends.
"Would you rather fight 100 duck-sized horses or one horse-sized duck?" "HEY, LOOK! I'M SOOOO QUIRKY!" openers are the new, "Do you have a map? Because I'm lost in your eyes." Looking for my Tinderella" or any variation on "willing to lie about how we met/we can say we met at Whole Foods" may have been funny at one point. Not in 2015.
On Tinder, as in all dating-related matters, simplicity, honesty, and confidence win.