Wisconsin Governor Scott Walker doesn't want welfare recipients smoking marijuana, but he has no problem with the state subsidizing his own taste for the munchies, according to Samantha Bee. Governor Walker wants to overhaul the welfare system in Wisconsin so that certain food-stamp recipients have to pass drug tests.
But those tests are "pointless and wasteful" according to Samantha Bee and her team of researchers at TBS' Full Frontal.
"When it was tried elsewhere, they found only 2.6 percent of welfare recipients tested positive for illegal drugs [mostly marijuana] -- well below the general population," Bee said. "And anyway, last I checked, weed was a lot less hazardous to your health than turning your body into the Midwest's biggest hotdog rendering plant."
That's right: Bee hit Walker below the belt by exposing his atrocious eating habits, which include eating two ham sandwiches for lunch every day for the last 26 years. "But Scott's 'sad-wich' is only the beginning of this story/cry for help. Our researchers discovered that Governor Walker consumes enough garbage to kill a junkyard rat," she said. "If you're looking for people getting high, maybe start by testing the due who eats like a sophomore reggae aficionado."
If that criticism seems offside, keep in mind that Governor Walker wants to slash the state's welfare spending, but he also wants Wisconsin taxpayers to fork over $6 million to upgrade the Cream Puff Pavilion at State Fair Park. No word yet on whether the Pavilion's patrons will be forced to pass a drug test before snacking at the state-subsidized sweet shop.