There are two things in my life I love most: cannabis and my fellow queers. Yet, the two hardly seem to intersect whenever I read articles about weed. Instead, I read mostly about CBD or legalization. Don’t get me wrong, I find CBD fascinating and would like to learn where it falls on the spectrum between a panacea and utter hoax. I also want to know what’s happening federally and locally when it comes to cannabis law reform.
But I still want more; I want cannabis to be, well, gayer. I want to know which cannabis-infused lubes work best for anal sex, which cannabis corporations are giving back to the LGBTQ community, which queer artists are incorporating cannabis into their work, and how cannabis affects both the queer individual and the larger community.
Gandhi famously said, “Be the change you want to see in the world.” So that’s why I've launched this column — Puff Puff YASS — where I plan on exploring how cannabis in all its variety and its glory directly impacts queers.
For this introductory column, I’m going to talk about the two completely different sex parties I went to on 4/20. I know this might be a change from what you're used to reading about weed. Gandhi would be proud.
The first party I went to was thrown by New Society For Wellness a.k.a. NSFW. This club is best known for two things: weed and sex. At NSFW parties, there are always a couple joints going around, while naked men, women, and genderqueer folks are being tied up, electrocuted (sexually), and so much more. The party space was previously an Escape Room, which lends itself perfectly to a sex club. There’s a doctor’s room, jail cell, and even a confessional booth for anyone who wants to play naughty priest.
I was already high Saturday night, April 20, when I stepped into NSFW’s Playdate: Sex and Weed. 4/20 has always been a wake and bake type of day — especially when it falls on the weekend. Since 10 AM, I had been taking bong rips from a beautifully bedazzled bong I bought at the corner store bodega for a measly $10.
After walking downstairs and through a dark hallway, I entered a room to see what looked like a hippie circle, only instead of tie-dye shirts and harem pants, everyone was wearing form-fitting black. Every member of the circle was straight up chillin', all passing an abundance of joints. Some folks were playing a giant Jenga set in the middle of the room, others lounged on the couch, while the last bunch were chatting up a storm with the folks besides them.
It was incredibly welcoming — no surprise, since everyone was pretty damn baked.
But before I could get into any friskiness at NSFW, I headed on over to a notorious gay Brooklyn sex party that wishes to remain anonymous. The theme of the Brooklyn event was Passover. Being a bisexual Jewish stoner, I obviously had to attend. And after NSFW’s Playdate, I was high AF, horny as hell, and needed some booty in my face.
I checked the bulk of my clothes at the door, leaving little to the imagination with what remained. I kept on my knee-high socks and tight Papi undies, which clearly revealed the outline of my circumcision — on brand for the event. After changing, I sauntered inside to where the action was. Immediately, I wafted the pungent smell of man. Knowing what was to come, I couldn’t help but feel aroused.
“I created [this] as a party that would embody the spirit of the porn theaters in the old Times Square,” the creator explained. “I wanted to create a party that embraced everyone and celebrated our differences, where — unlike at other play parties — one doesn't have to submit pictures, or be a certain body type, or gender or age, to come and be respected and have a good, hot time.”
A diverse and hot time it was. While still predominantly attended by cisgender men, this is the first “gay sex” party I’ve been to that had a number of trans men and gender non-conforming folks in attendance.
That was just one of the reasons why this night was different from all other nights.
Before I could get to the fun, the Passover component of the party began. A rabbi — yes, a real rabbi — started with the holiday blessing over the unleavened bread (a.k.a. matzah). Then, a very Brooklyn-esque performance took place, in which an improv comedian sung about Judaism to a cellist playing klezmer. He sung about all the things good Jewish boys have and love: irritable bowels, gefilte fish, and a co-dependent relationship with our mothers. Finally, I felt seen and understood. The show concluded with Brooklyn drag royalty, Mini Horowitz, embodying Bette Midler, performing a version of the classic song, “Marahuana.”
It was all hilarious and surprisingly “family-friendly” fun, all things considered, but by the time it was done, I was ready for some action. (Yes, I recognize I sound like my grandma at the penny slot machines.) I was swimming in a sea of men in jocks, but I was ready for the jocks and my undies to come off.
So with my staff fully erect, I parted the sea and headed into the promised land, which, in this case, was a big ol’ playroom located towards the back of the basement.
There were full moons everywhere. Dongs were out, and Holy Moses, some of them were beautiful monsters. True wonders to behold. I even saw a ginger with a burning bush. I moved passed the two couples doing it against a wall, into a new room with even more action. It was almost as if the first entrance was for voyeurs and exhibitioinists — for men to show off and others to enjoy the show. But in the final room, no one seemed to watch. Everyone was in it, fully participating, or looking to get in it. Quickly, a man grabbed my junk and smiled. I told myself before entering the space that I wouldn’t orgasm with the first guy I find hot, who touches me. When this happens — and “I blow my load too fast” — I’m ready to leave.
(On this night, I worried the four cups of Manischewitz sweet wine would kick in, and instead of leaning in my chair, as you're instructed to to do on the holiday, I’d end up passed out in bed. He was cute, and after making eye contact, he quickly jumped to his knees. He started making magic with his mouth and immediately I came. So much for my pep talk prior.
I’m someone who gets insanely horny while I'm high and have noticed I have more full-body ejaculations when stoned. Since I’d been smoking all day without any “release," the build-up was simply too strong and rushed out of me like the Jews fleeing Egypt.
After finishing, I peaced out. But you know what? Even though I came with the first guy I found hot, I regret absolutely nothing. I did exactly what I came there to do, which was embrace my Judaism, sexuality, and stonerism.
And he swallowed. Not sure if it’s kosher for Passover, but I get the feeling Hashem will forgive him for consuming a little treyf.