If something sounds too good to be true, it probably is.

So it was of last week's reports, immediately picked up by dozens of news sites, claiming the U.S. government intended to pay 300 people $3,000/week to smoke marijuana, watch TV, and hang out at a research lab which being observed by medical staff.

Sketchy "news site" Now 8 News claimed, "the facility, along with six other facilities across the nation, intend[s] to put stoners under the microscope in an attempt to find out if marijuana can relieve stress while still being able to function a normal life."

The Cannabist says they heard from at least 100 people about the story, some of whom were actually excited by the prospect of living in some sort of 1984-style cannabis research compound for six months. Free cannabis, right?!?

But folks dreaming of making the shift from rat-race to lab-rat will be disappointed: last time we checked, cannabis is still a a Schedule I drug under United States federal law. The idea that the government is going to recruit and pay people to get high on their dime seems pretty specious.

Fortunately, the fine folks over at Snopes were on this one. The urban-legend-busting site shared an email they received Dec. 2 from a rep for the National Research Center (which has also addressed the claim on its site).

I am with National Research Center (NRC) and I would like to also confirm that this marijuana study is fake and we are in no way conducting any research related to marijuana.

In short: sorry, cannabis consumers: you're gonna have to fund your own "research study" (if that's what we're calling it now). Also: the well-documented roadblocks U.S. scientists face when attempting to research marijuana make the bogusness of this story even more of a downer.

h/t The Cannabist