NHL Mascot & Living Nightmare 'Gritty' Attacks Arena Staff With T-Shirt Gun

Yesterday, the Philadelphia Flyers unveiled their new team mascot, 'Gritty,' and it’s been making headlines all over the internet. Why, you ask? Let’s take a look.

Heaven help us.

After the big reveal, Gritty hit Twitter like a fluffy orange meteor, and hockey fans immediately had a thing or two to say about him.

But, everybody knows that Twitter is just a breeding ground for public snark. Tweeters would probably make fun of Gritty no matter what he looked like, right? Let’s see what the legitimate press has to say about the ol’ boy.

Okay…Well, the Canadian Press would say that. Since when have Canadians ever had anything nice to say about an American hockey team? Let’s check in with the local Philadelphia CBS affiliate KDKA.

Ouch. Alrighty. So he’s an underdog…or, under-whatever that costume is supposed to represent. It’s a classic sports tale - young athlete, undervalued, nobody expects much of him, but, in the end, he gets out there and proves everybody wrong. It’s Rocky, it’s Rudy, it’s the freaking Mighty Ducks…the real question we need to ask is, how did he do his first night?

The horror!

Besides falling ass over teakettle twice during half-time, the mop-headed monster shot just a few team t-shirts into the audience before he began straight up mowing down other volunteers. Clearly, Gritty is an ace shot - from his war years, we presume, and he's not afraid of a little friendly fire.

We don’t know it the team will cut their losses and ditch the fuzzy freak or if they’ll stand their ground and hope that a Gritty Committee forms behind the controversial mascot.

The only thing we know for sure is that you do not want to be staring down the barrel of Gritty’s T-Shirt Cannon.

Nighty night, kiddies.


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