Lawmakers And Gun Lobbyists Support Arming Kindergarteners In Sacha Baron Cohen's New Show

Sacha Baron Cohen's new Showtime series 'Who Is America?' hasn't hit the airwaves yet, but it's already causing a stir after the show's YouTube channel released a promo featuring lawmakers and lobbyists endorsing guns for kindergartens. In the series, Cohen plays Israeli anti-terrorist expert Col. Erran Morad, who has a radical plan to combat school shootings in America. It's called 'Kinder-Guardians' and it's mission is to give guns to toddlers. 

To make firearms more appealing to four-year-olds, Morad suggests marketing a product called Gunimals: guns disguised as stuffed animals. Like the 'Puppy Pistol,' 'Gunny Rabbit' and 'Uzi-corn.'

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If that doesn't seem ridiculous enough, you have to see actual gun lobbyist Philip van Cleave - President of the Virginia Citizen's Defense League - pose with the 'Gunnimals' and sing the theme song, which gives toddlers tips on how to take down perpetrators. "Aim at the head, shoulders, not the toes - not the toes," sings Van Cleave. 

Cohen also duped congressmen like California Rep. Dana Rohrabacher (R) and South Carolina Rep. Joe Wilson to support the program. "Our Founding Fathers did not put an age limit on the Second Amendment," Congressman Wilson said on camera. "A three-year-old cannot defend itself from an assault rifle by throwing a 'Hello Kitty' pencil case at it."

But the funniest and most terrifying endorsement came from Larry Pratt - Executive Director Emeritus of Gun Owners of America.

"Toddlers are pure: uncorrupted by fake news or homosexuality," he said. "They don't worry if it's politically correct to shoot a mentally deranged gunman; they'll just do it. The science behind this program [Kinder-Guardians] is proven: at age four, a child processes images 80 percent faster than an adult. Meaning that essentially - like owls - they can see in slow motion. Children under 5 also have elevated levels of the pheromone* Blink 182 produced by the part of the liver known as the Rita Ora. This allows nerve reflexes to travel along the Cardi B neural pathway to the Wiz Khalifa 40 percent faster - saving time and saving lives."

For more reasons to believe America is doomed, watch the full sneak peak below.


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