Before skewering American politics as a correspondent for 'The Daily Show' and the host of 'Last Week Tonight,' John Oliver made ends meet in London by working for a company that sold stolen appliances.
"I filled in for maternity leave answering phones for a guy who sold stolen kitchen equipment in London," Oliver told Jimmy Fallon yesterday on 'The Tonight Show.' "I would answer the phones all day and people would say, 'Tell Jim to call me back by three o'clock or I'm gonna fucking kill him.'"
And Jim didn't do much to hide the fact that the merchandise had recently been swiped.
"There was literally cement still coming off the back of some of the kitchen equipment because it had just been stolen," Oliver added.
And sometimes he was put in the uncomfortable position of offering to sell the stolen goods back to the person who'd been robbed.
"This guy called up one day and said, 'I know Jim's there. Where's my oven?' I put him on hold. And Jim said, 'Just tell him that we have an oven that would fit his kitchen perfectly that just came in last night.' And that did not calm [the caller] down."
But that was nothing compared to the errands that Oliver was asked to run.
"The craziest thing he sent me to do was he gave me 15,000 pounds in cash and a knife. And he said, 'Go and take this across London. And I said, 'What's the knife for?' And he said, 'If someone tries to take the money, you can fight back.' And I said, 'If someone tries to take it, I'm giving them the money and the knife. You're down 15 grand and a blade.'"
But the worst part of the job might be that his crooked boss had no faith in his comedy career.
"He knew that I did comedy at night and it mystified him. He said, 'You're not funny here though, John. You've never made me laugh. You need to be funny around here before you can go and be funny somewhere else.'"
Luckily, Oliver didn't take that advice or he'd probably end up as the comic relief in a real-life sequel to 'Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels.'
Check out the full interview in the clip above.