If you're unhappy with the mainstream presidential candidates in the 2016 election, you're not alone. According to John Oliver, Donald Trump and Hillary Clinton are among the least popular candidates in American history. So a lot of voters are doing the sensible thing by considering this year's slate of third party candidates.
"Because when your two main options are depressing, any third choice seems good," Oliver explained on the latest episode of Last Week Tonight. "If you're at a KFC/Taco Bell and you see a bunch of pigeons eating something in the parking lot, you might well think, 'Hang on, what have they got over there?'"
So to help viewers decide who to vote for, Oliver put together a rundown of this year's other candidates, beginning with the fringes of the fringe.
"There's Jim Hedges of the Prohibition Party -- the worst party without alcohol since your born again cousin's wedding. There's Dan Vacek of the Legal Marijuana Now Party, which should really be called the Illegal Marijuana Now, Legal Marijuana ASAP Party. And then there's independent write-in candidate Joe Exotic, who claims to run the world's largest private zoo for tigers and produces incredible campaign videos."
With the extreme outliers out of the way, Oliver turned to the more mainstream alternative options: Green Party candidate Jill Stein and Libertarian Party candidate Gary Johnson. And after tearing through their policies, he concluded that both are as bad or perhaps even worse than the mainstream candidates.
"The more you look at both Gary Johnson and Jill Stein, the more you realize that the lack of coverage they complain about so much might have genuinely benefitted them. Because their key proposals begin to crumble under the slightest scrutiny," Oliver said. "There is no perfect candidate in this race. And when people say you don't have to choose the lesser of two evils, they are right. Because you have to choose the lesser of four."
Here's how he breaks down the options:
Trump: "a lying, handsy, narcissistic sociopath"
Clinton: "a hawkish, Wall Street-friendly embodiment of everything that some people can't stand about politics"
Johnson: "an ill-tempered mountain molester with a radical, dangerous tax plan that even he can't defend"
Stein: "a conspiracy pandering, political neophyte with no clear understanding of how government operates"
So check out the video and get ready to pick your poison on Election Day.