Fact-checking the crap spewing from President Donald Trump's mouth sometimes feels like bobbing for apples in a river of raw sewage. Luckily, John Oliver has put together a comprehensive rebuttal to everything Trump said about The Paris Agreement last week, when The Donald announced that he would pull America out of the international commitment to combat climate change.
Trump defended the move by taking aim at the Green Climate Fund GCF - a "global initiative to respond to climate change by investing into low-emission and climate-resilient development," according to the fund's website. Or in Trump's words, climate welfare.
"The Green Fund would likely obligate the United States to commit potentially tens of billions of dollars, of which the United States has already handed over $1 billion," Trump told the press last Thursday. "Nobody else is even close."
That claim drew some begrudging praise from Oliver. "To [Trump's] credit, that is actually an impressive amount of misleading bullshit in very few words," Oliver said before pointing out that America's obligation to GCF is minimal. "There is no enforcement mechanism in the Paris Agreement. The U.S. could just easily refuse to pay the bill - something Donald Trump has a lifetime of practice doing."
Trump also overstated America's contributions to the fund. "As for the potentially tens of billions of dollars - no, we committed three billion dollars. You can't just inflate three to potentially tens. I can't say that you [Trump] has had tens of failed marriages. I can only say you've had three. Because you have. You have had three failed marriages. And yes, I'm very much including your current one."
And the claim that America has donated more than any other country is more shortsighted than a cat wandering around with its head stuck in a chip bag.
"While we have given the most so far in sheer dollars, we are one of the richest countries and one of the top [carbon] emitters. And when you rank contributions as a fraction of GDP, we are 32nd, so Trump's description of the agreement is so flamboyantly deceptive, it would've been equally accurate for him to say, 'Compliance with the Paris Agreement would likely require all ducks to wear jean shorts, and it would potentially cost each and every American citizen five fish and a dump truck full of hamsters.' That would be as true as what he just said."
Unfortunately, there's no chance of drawing Trump's attention to the facts unless you can "talk KFC into taking out a full-bucket ad, which he would read on the toilet while eating chicken because that - at its core - is who our president is." But there is something you can do to fight for the planet. Watch the full clip to find out.