John Oliver took the weekend off to celebrate Easter, but he left us a special treat on Sunday when Last Week Tonight's Youtube channel uploaded a mock conspiracy theory video in which Oliver linked Cadbury Creme Eggs with international greed, the Illuminati and Freemasonry.
Not bad, but he's missing one other main ingredient of a good conspiracy theory: marijuana. He missed the obvious connection to green money and green herbs when he pointed out the "Illuminati eye" on American money.
Here are four eye-opening (or eye-rolling) cannabis conspiracy theories.
1. Citizen Kane Orchestrated Prohibition
Well, not Orson Welles' fictional character, but its inspiration: newspaper tycoon William Randolph Hearst, who allegedly lobbied the government to prohibit all forms of cannabis because hemp - a potential substitute for pulp paper - threatened his investment in the forestry industry.
2. Cannabis Was An Early Casualty In The Oil Wars
This one's almost the same as the first one, but replace "Hearst" with the iconic Rockefeller family and the DuPont family. And then replace the "pulp paper" industry with oil. Supposedly, industrialists in the twentieth century lobbied the government to outlaw cannabis in 1938 because it threatened their interest in petroleum, which has allegedly been at the center of most American wars ever since.
3. Big Pharma Is The Biggest Backer Of Marijuana Prohibition
This theory paints Big Pharma as the main villain behind marijuana prohibition. Theorists argue that pharmaceutical companies want to keep cannabis illegal because medical marijuana would take a huge bite out of their bottom lines, which are based on opioids and other medications.
4. George Washington Was A Marijuana-Smoking Cultist
Alright, this one isn't trying to be legit. But we couldn't end the list without mentioning Slater from "Dazed and Confused" (1993) and his theory that George Washington was a pot-smoking member of an alien cult.