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John Oliver Cracks Donald Trump's Code For 'I Have No Idea What I'm Doing'

If the first 233 days of Donald Trump's erratic presidency has taught us anything, it's that there's no way of knowing if the new commander-in-chief has a plan or if he's desperately trying to cover up the fact that he has no idea what he's doing. Or maybe there is. John Oliver says he's discovered one of Trump's tells.

"Any time Trump says that he's gonna make people happy, or that you're gonna be happy in the future, that means he has got nothing and he's trying to shut down the conversation," Oliver said on yesterday's episode of 'Last Week Tonight.'

For evidence, he played a clip from the 2016 campaign where Trump offered "maddeningly vague" statements on DACA. Trump pledged to deport the 800,000 children of illegal immigrants from America and then expedite the process of letting them return as legal citizens, but when Chuck Todd of NBC's 'Meet the Press' asked how that baffling plan would work, Trump dodged the issue by offering a rosy forecast of the result.

"Chuck, it will work out so well. You will be so happy. In four years, you're going to be interviewing me, and you're gonna say, 'What a great job you've done, President Trump,'" candidate Trump said.

"But that is not a plan," Oliver said, adding that things haven't changed since Election Day. "You would hope that now he's in office, President Trump would have formulated a plan outlining exactly what he would like to see happen regarding the Dreamers. But apparently as late as one hour before the decision was to be announced, administration officials privately expressed concern that Mr. Trump might not fully grasp the details of the steps he was about to take. Which again is something we all probably presumed anyway. Like the fact that Tom Hanks' character in 'Cast Away' absolutely fucked Wilson [the volleyball]. There is no doubt in my mind that that happened."

And DACA isn't the first time that Trump's evaded or flat-out lied about results to cover a massive gap in his strategy. He's done it with trade policy, border safety, the Middle East, steel tariffs, replacing Obamacare, infrastructure and more, as you can see in the supercut above. And that's a huge problem since the public needs to know how the administration plans to turn policy into reality. 

"Laying out a government policy that's just, 'You'll be so happy' is like naming a restaurant, 'You're gonna be so full.' Okay, that's the goal. But how? What am I filling myself with? Is it Asian fusion or wet cement?"


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