Jimmy Kimmel Reveals The Real Reason ‘Keebler Elf’ Jeff Sessions Is Going After Weed

Of all the questions being asked in the wake of Attorney General Jeff Sessions' announcement that he would rescind protections on states with legal marijuana, the most pertinent is simply, why? Legal cannabis enjoys broad political support, so it's not like this is a play to bring more people to his side. Perhaps he just has a weird, personal obsession with weed. Or, as Jimmy Kimmel posits, maybe there's something deeper going on...

In a bit from last night's 'Jimmy Kimmel Live', Kimmel posits a conspiracy theory where Sessions' distaste for marijuana springs from a desire to protect the profits of 'Big Cookie' - because he's actually a Keebler elf.

Frankly, it's one of the more reasonable theories we've heard. And the segment culminates with a wonderful callout:

“Jeff, if you're listening with those pointy little ears from that hollowed-out tree you live in, know this: We are on to you, and we will smoke you out of that tree if we have to."


Most people know that to consume alcohol and then get behind the wheel of a car is very dangerous — not just for the driver and passengers, but for anyone else sharing the road. For cannabis consumers, however, understanding levels of impairment is not so straightforward. To date, there is not yet a technology used by law enforcement that can accurately detect cannabis impairment similar to alcohol breathalyzers.

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