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How to Avoid Sounding Like a Stoner

Over the past few decades cannabis culture has gone mainstream, and so too have images of the typical stoner cliché, complete with certain tendencies, looks, and sayings thought to belong only to people who consume marijuana. We have even seen these stereotypes come to life in classic stoner comedies like Up in Smoke, Dazed and Confused, Friday, and Half Baked. 

However, there are many reasons for needing to know how to avoid sounding like a stoner, like having a job interview, going on a first date, or babysitting kids. You also want to be able to avoid sounding like a stoner on the fly in case of unexpected run-ins with children, law enforcement officers, or loved ones who aren't “down” with marijuana. Here we touch on a few ways of how you can avoid sounding like a total stoner.

1. Call “weed” either cannabis or marijuana instead of one of its many nicknames. Also, avoid using typical “stoner slang” words like “wacky tobacky,” “toke up,” “sticky icky,” and phrases such as “I'm so blazed,” “killer buds,” “I've got cotton mouth,” “pack a bowl”, “let's just chill out,” or “I love Mary Jane.”

2. Avoid calling everyone “dude” or “man” regardless of their age or sex.

3. Don't announce to everyone that it's “4:20” every time the clock says so because only the most dedicated stoners do that.

4. Avoid speaking in a slow, monotone voice and dragging out words or entire sentences because people will think you're stoned all the time.

5. Don't ask other people where your personal belongings are. If you can't find your cell phone, car keys, or another personal item, look for it in silence for as long as possible before asking for help, or you will probably hear some comments about sounding like a stoner.

6. Avoid verbalizing any internal thoughts you're having, particularly if you're trying to make a decision about something.

7. Don't let yourself laugh out loud about something you saw or heard about hours earlier. Having a personal giggle fit will usually give people the impression that stoned and that your mind is wandering.


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