Last night, the annual Golden Raspberry Awards dis-honored the worst movies released in 2017. But the studios will have the last laugh because all seven of the wretched features turned a profit at the box office thanks to us.
The unenviable winners were:
- Worst Picture: 'The Emoji Movie'
- Worst Actress: Tyler Perry, 'Boo 2! A Madea Halloween'
- Worst Actor: Tom Cruise, 'The Mummy'
- Worst Supporting Actor: Mel Gibson, 'Daddy’s Home 2'
- Worst Supporting Actress: Kim Basinger, 'Fifty Shades Darker'
- Worst Screen Combo: Any two obnoxious emojis, 'The Emoji Movie'
- Worst Remake, Ripoff or Sequel: 'Fifty Shades Darker'
- Worst Director: Tony Leondis, 'The Emoji Movie'
- Worst Screenplay: 'The Emoji Movie'
- Special Rotten Tomatoes Award: The Razzie Nominee So Bad You Loved It: 'Baywatch'
- Barry L. Bumstead Award: 'CHiPS'
Combined, those films reaped $506,688,865 in the United States and Canada, according to figures from Rotten Tomatoes. And of course, the two films that picked up the most Razzies - 'Fifty Shades Darker' (2) and 'The Emoji Movie' (4) - made the most money of the insufferable seven.
The studios can't do anything to refund our wasted time, but they could make things right in other ways. That half billion is enough to provide 2,009 undergrads with free years of room, board and tuition at Harvard, so they'll be smart enough to avoid our mistakes.
Or, they could hold a draw where the lucky winner will receive the honor of becoming a real-life Batman. According to IFL Science, the cost of the Dark Knight's costume, training, gadgets, vehicles and mansion would come in around $682 million. So if you downsized Wayne Manor a bit, you could probably make the money work.
If the studios had only done that sooner, the winner could've been a hero by chucking batarangs at every camera on set of the upcoming Razzie winner 'Fifty Shades Freed.'