In recent years, Gwyneth Paltrow has become the go-to source for pseudo-science and health fads that do more harm than good. Her company Goop has become notorious for promoting products that not only fail to do what's advertised but are also potentially dangerous and sometimes downright ridiculous.
But to call Paltrow a scam artist or snake-oil salesman would be a bit extreme, as it seems safe to assume that her heart is in the right place since she's been a life-long advocate of healthy living who feels the need to give back to humanity by educating the world with her pretentious bravado.
Unfortunately, on more than one occasion, her good intentions have combined with stupidity and resulted in some idiotic endorsements. Here are Gwyneth Paltrow's top 5 weirdest health recommendations.
The Coffee Colonic
Medical experts everywhere agree that most people do not need to detox. When you have a fully functioning liver and kidneys, your body does it naturally.
But according to Goop you can “super-charge your detox” with the purchase of Implant-O-Rama for $135 USD. Essentially it is a anal douche kit that you can use to detox your bowels as well as “hydrate and irrigate” your lower intestine by flushing your colon with coffee.
However, the procedure could wind up cleansing you off the face of the earth.
“Colon cleansing can sometimes be harmful,” according to the Mayo Clinic. “In fact, coffee enemas sometimes used in colon cleansing have been linked to several deaths.”
The Jade Egg
This intrusive accessory for the vagina is the “strictly guarded secret” of ancient Chinese concubines, according to Goop, which claims that the golf-ball-sized egg "can help cultivate sexual energy, clear chi pathways in the body, intensify femininity, and invigorate our life force" among other vague results.
It's porous surface is also a breeding ground for bacteria that can develop life-threatening infections like bacterial vaginosis or toxic-shock syndrome, according to Dr. Jen Gunter, a gynecologist who criticized the product in an open letter to Paltrow.
Body Vibe Stickers
Goop says these skin patches ease anxiety and pain while improving your skin, sleep and focus. The company added that the stickers are made out of “the same carbon material NASA uses to line space suits” to monitor astronaut’s vitals and come “preprogrammed to an ideal frequency allowing them to target imbalances.”
But before you shell out the $60 to $120 to buy a pack of placebo stickers, keep in mind that NASA has released a statement clarifying that they “do not have any conductive carbon material lining the spacesuits”.
Goop has since removed the NASA claim from the product description, and they've released an apology saying that “our engineer was misinformed by a distributor about the material in question...However the origins of the material do not anyway [sic] impact the efficacy of our product.”
But as far as we can tell, the only thing the stickers do is make your wallet lose weight.
Another ancient beauty secret that Paltrow believes in is apitherapy, which is based on the belief that honey, pollen and other products derived from bees are good for you. But the part that Paltrow's most interested in is the stinger, which she says reduces inflammation and scarring — if you've got enough nerves to let bees sting you.
This practice is, of course, extremely unsafe for people who are allergic to bees. And if you're not already deathly allergic, you can develop the allergy after getting stung multiple times — like Paltrow recommends. On top of that, you're also killing the bees that sting you. So this treatment is basically a murder-suicide pact. (And if you don't believe us, ask Gerard Butler.)
Since 2015 vagina steaming has risen in popularity thanks to Paltrow, whose company has praised the steam treatment offered at the Tikkun Spa in Santa Monica.
“The real golden ticket here is the Mugwort V-Steam," according to Goop. "You sit on what is essentially a mini-throne, and a combination of infrared and mugwort steam cleanses your uterus, et al. It is an energetic release—not just a steam douche—that balances female hormone levels.”
Yep, that is the first and only time in your life that you'll hear the phrase "not just a steam douche" as a compliment.
Rather than describe the many health risks caused by subjecting reproductive organs to high-temperature steam, let’s take a moment here to reflect on how easy it must be to believe your own bullshit while sitting on “a mini-throne.”