There are three types of people who use Twitter: Alt-right Donald Trump supporters, left-wing people mocking alt-right Trump supporters and stoners. Only the last of those three groups is actually worth following. If you don't believe us, check out some of the funniest weed tweets of all time.
1. Who says marijuana doesn't help teach math?
https://twitter.com/pakalupapito/status/590139856120111105
2. How Coloradans celebrate holidays
Happy 420 day from Colorado or as we like to call it, Wednesday.
Ever been so high you realize that you've been watching a movie on TV for 30 minutes, minimized, on the guide screen?
i only go on ebay after i smoke pot that way i'm always the highest bidder thank you check please
https://twitter.com/laziestcanine/status/4076783702189015046. Netflix and chill
I just watched a documentary on marijuana. I think all documentaries should be watched this way.
me: what time is it?
tour guide: 4:20
me: how can you tell?
tour guide: See how high the sun is?
[sun is eating spaghettiOs with a spatula]
Who is the idiot that called it "possession of marijuana" and not "joint custody"?
— Terry F (@daemonic3) September 17, 2013
9. Procrastination
https://twitter.com/makeup/status/590299350506442752
10. Sound logic
Me: I only smoke weed because of Cancer.
Mom: You don't have Cancer!
Me: So it's working...
11. We all know that person
https://twitter.com/ukbanter/status/609313091118088192
12. Definitely going to use this one
do you smoke pot because weed be cute together
13. Side effects of marijuana
They say Marijuana is a gateway drug? To what? Taco bell?
14. When your dealer's trying to be subtle
*walks up to grocery clerk*
I would like to buy this marijuana
“Sir, that’s broccoli”
*whispers really loud*
It’s okay I’m not a cop
15. Lion King 2017 Remake
Mufasa: Everything the light touches is our kingdom.
Simba: What about the shadowy place?
Mufasa: That's where the cool kids smoke weed.
16. Are dogs really Man's Best Friend?
Maybe cats can smell weed just as well as dogs, they're just not FUCKING NARCS.
17. Define "active"
Doctor: are you an active marijuana user?
Me: not really, I usually just sit on the couch and play video games
18. When your wife's a narc
[my wife & i catch our son smoking weed]
— Bob Vulfov (@bobvulfov) August 17, 2016
ME: i'll talk to him
[wife walks away]
ME: we're very disa—ok shes gone. when did u get so fkn cool
19. Law & Order: Special Marijuana Unit
[trial]
DISTRICT ATTORNEY: The accused had $74,088,000 worth of marijuana
JUDGE: Is that a lot?
DA: It's 420 cubed
JUDGE: Holy Sh-
20. United States Logic
"Can I buy some marijuana?"
Sorry. That's illegal.
"Ok then I'll just take 7 assault rifles, and 4 bazookas."
