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Donald Trump Is Flooding The American Justice System With Ted Cruz Clones

It might seem like President Donald Trump hasn't accomplished anything in his first 250 days in the Oval Office. After all, construction of the border wall remains at a standstill, and Congress has repeatedly failed to repeal and replace Obamacare. But despite those setbacks, the Trump administration is making tremendous gains toward redefining the American justice system.

Since taking office, Trump has nominated 53 federal judges — that's 36 more than President Obama had in his first year in the White House. Trump's progress has left liberal commentators stunned since "the only judges he knows base their rulings on chest size and congeniality," according to 'Full Frontal' host Samantha Bee.

But after doing some digging, Bee discovered that Trump is actually letting another group make his judicial selections for him. Trump makes the picks, but the playbook is being put together by The Federalist Society — a conservative legal organization that has cultivated future legislators like The Mickey Mouse Club groomed popstars back in the 90s. 

But instead of giving us a libertarian Justin Timberlake singing love songs for the Second Amendment, the Federalist Society's biggest star is Ted Cruz, the porn-endorsing, terrible-joke-telling senator from Texas. And the Society is full of Cruz clones, according to Bee.

"If you know one thing about The Federalist Society, it should be this: it's a whole gang of Ted Cruzes grown in a vast breeding facility where future conservative jurists gestate for years until they're ripe enough to be fed into the legal system pipeline. Because conservatives were smart enough to mass produce their judges while stupid liberals lovingly raised theirs one at a time in organic urban gardens. While they're dicking around, the busy Federalists are changing our whole understanding of the constitution."

For some examples of their work, check out the above clip.


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