Don't Like Donald Trump? Blame Horny Canadians For His Success

If you don't like President Donald Trump - who turns 71 today - you could take out your aggravation on the voters who elected him. Or the American viewers who turned him into a reality TV star on 'The Apprentice.' But you should really let Americans off the hook and lay the blame where it belongs: on horny Canadians.

There probably wouldn't be a President Trump if Canadian gold prospectors had kept their nuggets in their pants during the Klondike gold rush, where The Trump family fortune began with a brothel in Canada's Yukon territory, according to Gwenda Blair - author of 'The Trumps: Three Generations that Built an Empire.'

Back in the 1890s, The Donald's grandfather Frederick Trump was a struggling restaurateur trying to make a buck in Seattle. He had emigrated to America from Germany at the age of 16, hoping to find his fortune instead of taking up the family business as a barber. Things weren't going very well for Frederick until he read a newspaper proclaiming that wealth awaited anyone with the gumption to tackle Canada's northern wilderness in pursuit of klondike gold. 

So Frederick sold his stakes in Washington state and headed north. But he didn't make his fortune from mining gold so much as nickel-and-diming miners.  "[Trump] realized that the best way to get [rich] was to lay down his pick and shovel and pick up his accounting ledger," Blair told the CBC in 2015.

His first business was a canteen set up on a perilous pathway between Alaska and northern Canada known as Dead Horse Gulch thanks to the many steeds that dropped dead and were left unburied on the roadside by miners forging across the untamed wilderness. But to Frederick, the sound of horses dropping dead from exhaustion was really opportunity knocking.  "A frequent dish [at the canteen] was fresh-slaughtered, quick-frozen horse," Blair noted.

Based on the success of the canteen, Frederick Trump opened the Arctic Restaurant and Hotel, where patrons could dine on moose, duck, oysters and other entrees. But the real money makers were liquor and sex.

"The bulk of the cash flow came from the sale of liquor and sex," Blair wrote in her book, adding that the rooms were equipped with weight scales for patrons who wanted to pay in whatever they'd dug up that day. And by mining the miners, Frederick managed to cobble together the beginnings of the Trump family fortune.

"It allowed him to get together the nest egg he'd come to the United States for," Blair told CBC. "Whether he could've accumulated that much money somewhere else, in that short a period of time, as a young man with no connections, and initially not even English, is certainly...unlikely."

So there you have it: the origins of The Donald's wealth are dead horses and hookers.

Latest.

In a tweet last night President Donal Trump announced his new hire for White House Chief of Staff, Mick Mulvaney. Mulvaney is currently the director of the Office of Management and Budget as well as the Acting Director of the Consumer Financial Protection Bureau. Once he starts the new job, Mulvaney may just be one of the biggest cannabis reform supporters in the White House, a potential boon for the legalization movement.