Uh-oh. Have you been here 20 minutes or 2 hours? Is she talking to you? You're preoccupied by your irregular, pounding pulse. You're definitely breathing too loudly. Your friends, your boss, and everyone you've ever met all hate you. Hey, is that the cops?
Nope. That's weed paranoia.
Being high can be intense, stimulating sensory experience. As your brain tries to sort out these weird sensations, it can trick you into thinking something's actually, seriously wrong. And, as Leafly also points out, "anxiety-prone people tend to use cannabis as a self-prescribed anxiety medicine, opposing the idea that cannabis is what's causing the anxiety."
Start slow - especially with edibles. Most Dej Loaf-style near-death-experience-freak-outs happen because people who aren't used to weed eat a bunch of it. If it's your first time, smoking or vaping gives maximum effects, but dissipates more quickly and lets you better gauge how high you're going to get. Also, don't smoke with people unless they have good vibes: drug, set and setting are key.
Instead of getting freaked out by what you're feeling and thinking, try adopting a perspective of curious mindfulness. Marijuana, for instance, often causes rapid heartbeat: from a mindfulness perspective, you can simply notice that your heart is beating fast. No need to freak out: just investigate your feeling from a perspective of curiosity. Or focus on something else.
Being dehydrated increases anxiety by hampering blood flow, preventing hormones from reaching their destined locations. Your muscles may tense up. Your brain, 85% water, may experience changes as a result of water loss. When your body and mind are stressed, step one should be a nice, ice-cold glass of water.
Sounds like some hippie thing, but there's actually science to back up the idea that sniffing/chewing black peppercorns can mitigate paranoia. Owen Smith writes in Canada's Cannabis Digest that a few sniffs of pepper gives an immediate calming effect: others report feeling relief within an hour of chewing on peppercorns. Neil Young has said he swears by this method. In a scientific review published by the British Journal of Pharmacology, author Ethan Russo points out the connections between THC and terpenoids found in pepper.
Curling up into a ball on the couch might feel like the only thing you can do, possibly forever, but you need to break free, man. Put on some music, move around, touch your toes. Listen to John Coltrane or Talking Heads or DJ Shadow: any music with enough complexity to focus your stoned mind. It's hard to feel scared while you're consciously aware of your body in time and space.
6. Become cool with being (temporarily) dumb
A lot of the time, our livelihoods depend on taking our intelligence seriously. Suddenly realizing that you're operating at a lower level of mental acuity can be scary. But a finite period of freedom from your A-game is actually liberating - in fact, it's why many people use cannabis. Roll with it. They don't call it dope because it makes you smart, right?