A long time ago, in a galaxy nearby, Jon Bon Jovi got his big break in show biz by recording a Star Wars Christmas song. We don't mean the dreaded Star Wars Holiday Special where Carrie Fisher serenaded a family of Wookies (seriously). No, this was the 1980 novelty record Christmas in the Stars: Star Wars Christmas Album featuring Anthony Daniels (C-3PO) and a young Bon Jovi (then John Bongiovi) singing galactic carols.
Bon Jovi recorded one track for the record - "R2D2, We Wish You a Merry Christmas," which was part holiday greeting and part love song for the beepy little droid. Here's a sampling of the embarrassing lyrics.
And if the snow becomes too deep, just give a little beep.
We'll go in by the fire and warm your little wires.
Spreading Christmas cheer will be easy with you here.
We'll dance and sing and play from Christmas Eve 'til Christmas day.
So you might call the song Star Wars Christmas erotica.
For Bongiovi, the recording was a way to get his foot in the door of the record industry. Or at least that's what the his cousin - Tony Bongiovi, who co-produced the album - had hoped when he brought John onboard.
“I knew that it was going to sell,” Bongiovi later said. “So he sang on it. If you have a hit, then you can turn around and say, ‘Hey, this album is a hit, let’s turn around and sign him’….[T]hat’s how he ended up on that track.”
But that plan backfired when RSO Records - the company marketing the album - folded right after its release. That setback plunged the young singer right back into obscurity - for a few more years until the release of Slippery When Wet in 1986.
And he went back to his carolling roots in the early 90s with a cover of "Please Come Home for Christmas."
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