The 5 Best Disses From Jimmy Kimmel And Ted Cruz's Charity Basketball Game

Yesterday saw comedy, politics and sports collide at the long anticipated 'Blobfish Basketball Classic' - a one-on-one showdown between Texas Senator Ted Cruz and late night host Jimmy Kimmel, who named the charity game after Cruz's alleged resemblance to the slimy marine creature.


Photos by Mark Wilson (Getty Images) & James Joel (Flickr)

The event was staged to raise money for charities of each competitors' choosing. Cruz repped the Houston-based education charity Generation One while Kimmel played for Texas Children's Hospital.

If you were hoping to see some stellar basketball, then the 'Blobfish Classic' was a huge letdown. But the barbed comments on the court made up for the lacklustre athleticism. Here are the 5 best disses from Kimmel and Cruz's basketball game.

A Fish Called Ted

The trash talk began before the first dribble as Kimmel's sidekick Guillermo met with Cruz before the game and asked when his looks began going south.

"At what time in your life did you start looking like a blobfish?" he asked Cruz in the locker room.


Right after the coin toss to begin the game, Kimmel went after Cruz for not standing up for migrant families that are separated and held in custody at the border by the Trump administration. 

"Did you spend more time this week practicing basketball then getting those kids out of that detention center?" he asked Cruz, who seemed dumbstruck by Kimmel's refusal to pull any punches.

Have Mercy

When referee Bob Delaney tweaked the rules to make the game a bit easier on the middle-aged athletes, Kimmel jumped on the chance to slam his competitor by bringing up the separated families again. "The ref is having mercy on us right now. This is a good lesson for you and those kids in that detention center," Kimmel said.

"What about all the kids Obama detained?" Cruz shot back.

"If there were any, then you should've done something abut that too," Kimmel snapped.

Making Amends

When Cruz mocked Kimmel for supporting Hilary in 2016, Kimmel replied, "I'm glad to see you've forgiven Donald Trump for all the horrible things he's said about your family," Kimmel said, referring to some especially despicable moments during the 2016 Republican presidential primary when Trump attacked Cruz's wife Heidi and even suggested that Ted's father was involved in the assassination of John F. Kennedy.

"I commend Ted on putting business first, and his balls on a shelf somewhere," Kimmel added on the court.

No Love Lost

Cruz took the basketball match by a score of 11 to 9, but the biggest winner of the day were the two charities that Kimmel and Cruz played for. On top of the money raised by the crowd, Kimmel donated $10,000 - double the amount promised - to Generation One as well as Texas Children's Hospital.

"I'm gonna match you and give 10 grand to both charities as well," Cruz said following the match.

"You're a good sport, I still think you're a terrible senator," Kimmel said. Then he looked at his daughter and added. "Kid, you got to see your daddy win something."

Check out the highlights from the in the clip above.


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