Anthony Scaramucci's Top Insults For The Trump Administration

Anthony Scaramucci became a pop culture phenomenon overnight after introducing himself to America by his nickname — 'The Mooch.' Turns out, that's not the only moniker he coined during his 10-day tenure as President Trump's director of communications. Here are the best nicknames for the Trump administration that he dropped in an interview for Vanity Fair.

1. Darth Happy Days

If you wanna know what working in the Trump White House is like, just put two TV's together with one playing 'Star Wars' and the other playing old episodes of 'Happy Days.' According to Scaramucci, everyone has a wholesome side and a Sith Lord side. 

"They're Richie Cunningham and they're Opie from The Andy Griffith Show, but they're the fucking Sith Lord behind your back," Scaramucci said. "They're hitting you with a lightsaber behind your back."

Apparently Scaramucci was not-so-subtly watching 'Force Awakens' during the interview.

2. Cock of the Swamp

Time hasn't healed Scaramucci's hurt feelings toward Trump's former Chief Strategist Steve Bannon, who got trashed more than anyone else in the Vanity Fair interview. The Mooch railed against Bannon for allegedly turning on him after the two collaborated on the Trump campaign. 

"I helped Bannon through the three months that he was on the campaign, and we had a good relationship," Scaramucci said. "But Bannon turns on me, because Bannon is ultimately railing against the swamp, but he's actually a cock of the swamp. He's the creature from the Black Lagoon, Bannon. He acts more swamp-like than any person that's ever become a Washingtonian."

3. Napoleon the Pig

Scaramucci also cast Bannon as an Orwellian villain. 

"He is literally the pig in George Orwell's 'Animal Farm' that stands on his two legs the minute he gets power."

That's right: literally. George Orwell travelled through time to 2017 just so he could include Bannon in his classic novel, according to Scaramucci. Notice any resemblance?

4. Rancid Penis

Scaramucci's loathing for Bannon is perhaps second only to his searing hatred of Trump's former Chief of Staff Reince Priebus a.k.a. 'Rancid Penis,' who was allegedly jealous of The Mooch's friendship with Trump.

"He's just very jealous, can't believe I'm this close to Trump."

Of course, being close to Trump isn't always a good thing.

5. Berserkazoid Craziness

The West Wing isn't just a toxic work place. It's full of 'berserkazoid craziness' according to Scaramucci — or at least it was when he walked in there last summer.

"What was going on was absolute berserkazoid craziness: internecine warfare, leaks every 13 seconds, Bannon leaking on everybody, Priebus leaking on everybody, total chaos in the White House, total disorganization."

Or in Muppet terms...

6. The Gold-Plated Cesspool

Scaramucci's opinion of DC also soured after his experience in the White House. He went in thinking the capital was a swamp, but he left with an even less savory impression of it.

“I learned that the swamp is probably a gold-plated cesspool with no drain," Scaramucci said. "You understand what I’m saying? You can’t drain the fucking thing. It’s a gold-plated cesspool, and you got cesspool operators in there that know how to slow down disruptors like Donald Trump.” 

In other words, Washington is as awful as the set of Peter Sellers and Ringo Starr's movie 'The Magic Christian.'

BONUS: Michael Jordan

Not every nickname dropped by Scaramucci was insulting. Some see Donald Trump as an overgrown toddler who is one pound shy of obesity. But in the Mooch's eyes, the president is a basketball legend.

“My point is this guy’s a winner,” Scaramucci said of Trump. “He’s been winning his whole life, and he’s not a choke artist. He’ll hit the shot. The shot’s going in. Michael Jordan, that last shot in the championship, he wanted the ball. That’s Trump.”

Well, Jordan and Trump certainly do have one thing in common.


A non-profit group of over 150 current and former athletes is calling for marijuana to be removed form the World Anti-Doping Agency's prohibited substances list. Medical marijuana legalization is spreading across the US, but most pro-athletes are still prevented from accessing it. That's because most major sports leagues follow drug guidelines set by the World Anti-Doping Agency (WADA), which bans athletes from using cannabis even outside of competition.

Can we see some ID please?

You must be 19 years of age or older to enter.