Never trust a menu featuring Kobe beef sliders.
This is just some of the sage advice offered by Anthony Bourdain in a new video for 'The Tonight Show With Jimmy Fallon', in which the celebrity chef gives his impressions on the latest food trends.
First up on the chopping block? Truffle oil, which Bourdain describes as “not even food” and “about as edible as Astroglide and made from the same stuff.”
Of course, there’s “no food crime worse”, according to Bourdain, than the inexcusably pretentious Kobe beef slider. He calls the tiny hamburgers “the very epicentre of douchedom" and adds that "these things are glaring, flashing red warning signs that tell you you’re in the wrong place."
“If you see Kobe sliders on a menu at a restaurant that you’ve walked into, turn on your heels and leave,” he advises. “No good will come of this, it will just be a sea of high-fiving hedge funders and people you do not want anywhere near you.”
When it comes to brunch, Bourdain isn’t exactly a fan either, deeming it nothing but a “horrible, cynical way of unloading leftovers and charging three times as much as you ordinarily charge for breakfast.”
Bourdain is similarly unimpressed with avocado toast, offering simply that he’s “not going to get a boner over it.”
One trendy food item not on Bourdain’s hit list? The croissant-doughnut hybrid known as a cronut, which Bourdain claims he’s “all for.”
“I don’t eat a lot of pastry, but those cronuts are damn good.”
All we can say is: Thank God.