Monday night, famous person Kim Kardashian paid a visit to Jimmy Kimmel Live to discuss her recent meeting with President Donald Trump about releasing convicted drug offender Alice Marie Johnson. Kardashian revealed that this was a successful effort, with Johnson receiving clemency by the president in early June.
That’s good news for Ms. Johnson (which, as Kim stated in the interview, she received while shooting a nude photo session). But now we have to wonder what else Kim has talked Trump into now that she has his ear.
"I'm hopeful that more good things are going to come out of our conversations," Kardashian told Kimmel last night. That's right, she said "conversations." And that makes us wonder what other ideas the notoriously low-brow reality star expressed during their meeting, and whether or not Kim Kardashian agreed with him.
Of course, we may never have any real way of knowing. So…let’s speculate, shall we?
Commiserating about Their Sex Tapes
It can be hard to have your privacy violated so publicly. We understand that. Naturally, you assume that your personal, intimate videos are private. Also, you probably don’t expect to be covertly filmed in your hotel room while exploring all that Russia has to offer.
While the existence of Trump’s controversial "pee tape" remains hotly debated, it is nevertheless the most talked-about celebrity sex tape around, with the possible exception of Kim’s own 2007 'Kim K Superstar' opus. The notoriety behind these two videos could be a major talking point for the pair.
Despite Donald’s infamous propensity for bragging, this is one honor for which he likely does not want to take credit. Kim’s sex tape is often credited with putting her in the spotlight and launching her career, but, with the recent Russia probes, it’s looking like Trump’s alleged tape might be the end of his.
Discussing a 7-Track LP Produced by Kanye West
Over the past few months, it seems like Kim’s husband Kanye West has announced 7-song collaborative albums with just about everyone and their mother, leading us to suspect that he could be sending Kim on a diplomatic mission to gauge interest in a possible musical collaboration between the rapper and Trump.
While we’ve seen no evidence that Trump has any serious rap chops, but we do know he’s got those trap-style ad-libs down pat. And he did guest on Regis Philbin's 2005 Christmas album, so it's not like Trump's a stranger to the recording studio.
Of course, this is all speculation at this point. Still, for all we know, in the era of surprise album releases, it could drop on Spotify tonight.
For those who think that hip-hop is too off-brand for the Donald, then you don’t know your history. Not only has Trump been name-checked hundreds of times by prominent artists such as Lil Wayne, Raekwon and Nas, the president himself even appeared in a short skit on Method Man’s 1998 album 'Tical 2000: Judgement Day,' just begging for that new hit of Meth.
So, you know, there is precedent, is all we’re saying.
Musing On Why Their Respective Reality Shows Didn’t Win Emmys
Yeah, what’s with that? Their reality shows, 'Keeping Up With The Kardashians,' and 'The Apprentice' were ratings giants for their respective networks. Although they were pulling in some serious advertising dollars, you just can’t put a price on that kind of public buzz.
Still, in the eyes of the Academy of Television Arts & Sciences, they simply weren’t worth the gold. Despite each show running 15 seasons, neither program has ever garnered a single Emmy.
Even with all the money, power and influence they hold, the fact that neither can cross that threshold of respectability could be a major griping point for both of them.
Discussing Brand Crossover Opportunities
Considering the pair’s well-known habit of slapping their names on anything that crosses their agent’s desk, they would have a hell of a time determining what industries they aren’t involved with, between the two of them.
Speaking strictly from a business perspective, we think there are some solid crossover opportunities here.
Partnering with Kim, Donald could finally break into the work of fashion and cosmetics, while Kim, for her part, could become more intimately involved with pre-packaged steaks, sham universities and US politics.
Kim Kardashian could teach a master class in effective social media outreach, and, in Trump’s case, we wish that she would.
Boasting 5.1 million more followers than the leader of the free world, Kardashian makes a big chunk of her living from sponsored endorsements of products on social media. Clearly, she knows how to address the public in an effective way and keep those in her camp happy.
This, as we well know, is not something that Trump is known for. The president’s patented late-night Twitter rants are regularly stuff of ridicule, and can occasionally have some serious real-world consequences.
Under Kim’s tutelage, perhaps the president can learn to temper his social media shitposting and maybe get a coherent message out every once in a while. Admittedly, we’re not holding our breath.