On this day in 1989, The Simpsons aired its very first episode. Considering that The Simpsons is something of a sacred text for wise-asses like myself, I simply could not let this moment pass. In lieu of reciting my favorite quotes to the rest of the Civilized staff ("I'm Idaho!") I decided to do something more productive (and less annoying). Here are the five best high times on The Simpsons:

1. Homer gets a pot prescription

I mentioned this episode in a previous piece, but it bears mentioning here, if only because "Weekend at Burnsie's" has the most pot jokes per minute of any Simpsons episode. Among other things, the writers proved their stoner bona fides by bringing on Phish, and by revealing that poor old Hans Moleman is a medical marijuana user.


2. The Springfield police force has a sesh

In "The Canine Mutiny," Bart's trades in his beloved dog Santa's Little Helper for a collie named Laddie. He immediately regrets his decision and sets out to find SLH, who has been adopted by a blind man. One thing leads to another, a bag of weed is found, and...well, let's just say you'll never hear Bob Marley's "Jammin'" the same way again.


3. Ned Flanders meets his doppleganger

In "Midnight Rx," Homer and his cohorts start smuggling prescription drugs from Canada after Mr. Burns cancels the employee drug plan. In the process, Ned Flanders meets his Canadian equivalent. Everything seems to be going swimmingly - until a "reeferino" is brought out.


4. Homer accidentally gets Springfield High

Homer Simpson decides to leave the rat race and join a hippie commune in the episode, "D'oh-in' in the Wind." Typically, things go awry: Homer makes a batch of the commune's special health drink, but accidentally includes a crop of, ahem, "special vegetables." True, the sequence is a very inaccurate depiction of cannabis' effects, but it's a fun trip all the same. Plus it's totally worth it to see Grampa Simpson and Jasper giggling like Beavis and Butt-Head.

5. Everything Otto Does

Merry Christmas, everyone!