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3 Unusual Coffees To Spice Up Your Morning

Coffee is straight up nectar of the gods. Without coffee, humans are nothing more than sleepy, confused organic machines for the production of feces. With coffee civilization, business, economy, and society are all made not only possible but entirely real. Here are 3 unusual coffees to make your morning routine more interesting and thus enhance your contributions to society.

  1. Black Ivory. Black Ivory coffee beans are beans that have been eaten by elephants and are then collected out of the elephant dung prior to brewing a fresh cuppa joe with them. These appetizing beans might seem expensive at $73 for a sample pack, but the price is a lot more reasonable when your remember some person had to comb through an elephant shit just to retrieve them for you.

  2. Kopi Joss. Kopi Joss is an Indonesian specialty coffee served with hot charcoal. The charcoal is said to neutralize the acidic properties of coffee, making it easier to digest. As an added bonus, it smells like BBQ, and the only thing more important to functioning society than quality coffee is great BBQ.

  3. Cà Phê Trứng. Cà Phê Trứng is a Vietnamese egg coffee made by combining sugar, condensed milk, coffee, and egg yolks. If that doesn’t sound appetizing, Buzzfeed’s description of the drink as ‘liquid tiramisu’ might change your mind.

So the next time you wake up and the thought of an average cup of Java is getting you down, remember that you do have other options. Start warming some charcoal, cracking some eggs, or find an elephant poop to go digging through to make your morning coffee extra special and your day extra productive.


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